Many of us are familiar with the idea of loving our spouses, children, or parents unconditionally — and we might even try to practice that unconditional love, though imperfectly.

But do we try to love ourselves unconditionally?

Consider whether you do any of these (I sure do):

Criticize your body.
Feel like you need to improve at things.
Feel guilty about things you do.
Feel undisciplined, lazy, unhappy with yourself.
Not feel good enough.
Fear that you’re going to fail, because you’re not good enough.
See yourself as not that good looking.
Feel bad about messing up.
For many of us, there’s an underlying feeling of not being good enough, wanting to be better, wanting to be in better shape or better at things. This isn’t something we think about much, but it’s there, in the background.

What if we applied unconditional acceptance of who we are? What if we took a good look at ourselves, our body, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, and said, “You are perfectly OK. You are perfectly good”?

Would that be a whole different experience for you? Could you accept every single thing about yourself, just as you are, without feeling that it needs to be changed?

I know what many people will immediately say: “But what’s wrong with wanting to improve, with seeing things that need to be improved? Doesn’t feeling bad about ourselves motivate us to change?”

Yes, it can be a motivator. But feeling bad about yourself can also be an obstacle: people who feel that they are fat, for example, are more likely to eat poorly and not exercise, because they see themselves as fat. They are likely to feel bad about themselves and to comfort themselves with food, alcohol, cigarettes, TV, Internet addictions.

What if instead, you loved yourself, fat body and all? What if you loved yourself, laziness and all? What if you loved yourself, all that is ugly and incompetent and mean, along with the beauty and brilliance and kindness?

This person who loves herself (or himself) … she’s more likely to take actions that are loving. Doing some mindful yoga, or taking a walk with a friend after work, eating delicious healthy food like beans and veggies and nuts and berries and mangos and avocados, meditating, drinking some green tea … these are loving actions.

Acceptance isn’t stagnation — you will change no matter what. You can’t avoid changing. The question is whether that change comes from a place of acceptance and love, or a place of self-dislike and dissatisfaction. I vote for unconditional love

*N.B: This is post is culled from my Mentor’s (Leo Babauta) blog, http://www.zenhabits.net

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

“The conscious mind may be compared to a fountain playing in the sun and falling back into the great subterranean pool of subconscious from which it rises-Sigmund Freud”

Is generalissimo in charge of your mental forces garrison?

Is your porter at the door post?

Is your watchman vigilant and alert at your gate?

All the questions is about your conscious mind

Robert Collier in his book, The Secret of the Ages: The Master Code to Abundance and Achievement, when you say “I see—I hear—I smell—I touch,” it is your conscious mind that is saying this, for it is the force governing the five physical senses. It is the phase of mind with which you feel and reason—-the phase mind with which everyone is familiar. It is the mind with which you do business.

What is this Conscious Mind?

According to psychology.about.com, Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of personality, the conscious mind consists of everything inside of our awareness. This is the aspect of our mental processing that we can think and talk about in a rational way.

The conscious mind includes such things as the sensations, perceptions, memories, feeling and fantasies inside of our current awareness. Closely allied with the conscious mind is the preconscious, which includes the things that we are not thinking of at the moment but which we can easily draw into conscious awareness.

Can you believe this? There is some days in the early this year where my conscious mind is feeding me with suggestion of fear or worry or failure, disease, and so on.

The Generalissimo controls, to a great extent, all your voluntary muscles. It discriminates between the right and wrong, wise and foolish.

Have you noticed how your conscious mind wander in the recent time?

The most important province of your conscious mind is to center your thought on the thing you want, “Believe that you receive,” and then shut the door on every suggestion of fear or failure or worry or whatsoever.

You wouldn’t expect much from an army, no matter how fine its soliders, whose general never planned ahead, who distrusted his own ability and that of his men, and who spent all his time worrying about the enemy instead of planning how he might conquer them.

So what’s the way out?

You have to MASTER your Mind!

Your mind is master of your body. It directs and controls every functions of your body. Your body is in effect a little universe in itself, and mind its radiating center—-the sun which gives light and life to all your system, and around which the whole revolves. And your conscious thought is master of this sun center.

Watch out for my next article, THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.

Keep posted!

P.S: Leave your comments and contributions to this article below.

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

Is there truly a problem?

The titled of this article is based on my yesterday’s interaction with my 7years Old daughter.

I put a call through to my wife and children every morning and evening in order to know their welfare because I stayed in a different state due to power of industrial revolution.

When my wife picked the call, we did the usual ritual of exchanging pleasantries like “How is today? And the likes. I asked her to pass the phone around to other members of the family.

The phone got to Moyo, my 7years Old daughter and she said “Daddy, there is a problem!”

Guess what?

My heart did a somersault and different thoughts flooded my mind per nanosecond.

Is the problem from the school?
Is the problem from their neighbour?
Is the problem from their homefront?
And so on

To cut long story short, I asked her, “What is the problem?”

Behold!

Moyo replied, “Daddy, can you believed my Mummy didn’t buy us ICE-CREAM this evening!”

Is this truly a problem in the real sense?

I stumbled on Steve Chandler’s book, Reinventing Yourself: How to become the person You’ve always wanted to be. He titled his introduction page “Are you an owner or a victim?”

“Are you an owner or a victim” this is a $1Million question that need to be answered.

As you look back on your life so far, you will see that you always have had two basic ways of being. At any given time, you were either one way, or you were the other, you were either an owner of the human spirit, or you were a victim of circumstance.

The choice is yours!

When my daughter said the title of this post, what came to my mind is: am I an owner or a victim?

Answering the question in every situation would give peace of mind and it would help you live a stress-free life

I used to tell my protégés, the word “Problem” is negative that they should replace it with the word “Challenge” which is positive.

One way, the ownership way, reinvent you as you go. It reinvents you outward, in an ever-expanding circle of compassion, vision, and courage.

The other way (the victim way) shrinks you down. Just as your muscles shrink when they are not moving, so do your heart and soul when you are in the your victim mode.

The minute you owned the challenge (problem), you are free to become the solution. You switched from VICTIM to OWNER!

Welcome to FREEDOM!

Feel free to comment(s) on this article.

Keep posted!

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

What is music to you?

How do you feel when listening to music?

What is favorite kind of music?

Do you listening to music often?

Why all these questions on music?

According to Wikipedia, Music is an art form whose medium is sound. Its common elements are pitch (which governs melody and harmony), rhythm (and its associated concepts tempo, meter, and articulation), dynamics, and the sonic qualities of timbre and texture. The word derives from Greek μουσική (mousike; “art of the Muses”).

The creation, performance, significance, and even the definition of music vary according to culture and social context. Music ranges from strictly organized compositions (and their recreation in performance), through improvisational music to aleatoric forms. Music can be divided into genres and subgenres, although the dividing lines and relationships between music genres are often subtle, sometimes open to personal interpretation, and occasionally controversial.

Music Therapy
According to Oxford Dictionary of Psychology, Music therapy n. A form of psychotherapy with clients or patients are encouraged to express their feeling and inner conflict through music

I got an insight about the concept “Music therapy from my elder Sister, Favour who is a Mental Nurse in London. She described how much is being used for the treatment of mental disorders and allied problems.

Is Music therapy restricted only to mental ill people?

The answer is No?

Based on my personal experience, I had a challenging moments in my life in the mid of this year which nearly affects my relationship with my family, friennds, colleagues, and the job. The situation is borne-out of my fear of unknown.

Those period of time was like hell for me but music soothed my soul and gave me inspiration and guidance that I can outcome this challenging moments which I eventually overcame.

Did you know, most of our fears does not come true? Most outcomes of fears negates our pre-conceived event which drives us helpless.

“Music is the balm that heals the forlorn ache of a distant star.” – Don Williams Jr.

Steve Chandler writes in his book, 100 ways to motivate yourself: From now on, make it a personal commitment to notice everything that pushes your buttons. Make a note of everything that inspires you. That’s your control panel. Tose buttons oper ate your whole system of personal motivation.

Motivation doesn’t have to be accidental. For example, you don’t have to wait for hours until a certain song that picks up your spirits comes on the radio. You can control what songs you hear. If there are certain songs that always lift you up, make a mix of those songs and have it ready to play in your car.

Go through all of your music and create a “greatest motivational hits” playlist for yourself

Did you agree with me on music therapy?

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

This post is a continuation of an earlier one:4 Stages to Greatness: http://tinyurl.com/okj8jbl.

The next stage to greatness is Sculpting after the Chipping. This is different than chipping which is a process whereby when you take off what doesn’t belong.

But Sculpting is the fine art of study of slowly and delicately revealing the form and beauty of your masterpiece. This is where the artist make the piece become what it is intended to become.

When we have allowed life and our action of disciple to eliminate that which hide our true inner selves, we then must actually form the life that we want to lead.

The tools of a sculptor are few,but the tools for sculpting a life is many. We are a product of the things that we allow to shape and infleunce our lives. Everything that we interact with will shape and mold whom we become. This include both what we choose to involve ourselves with as well as what we choose to not involve ourselve with.

Let me start with what we choose to involve with:

First and foremost are the people who we involve with. Our business associates and friends are people who we can choose at will. We should seek out those who will challenge and encourage us to become the very best that we can become. The goal is to have a network of people around us who act as a springboard to a better life.

The second is the books that we read. Yes books. I like to view books as the ability to converse with the author. I like to imagine that the author is speaking these ideas to me. I react and ask questions in my mind as i read, allowing me to converse with the author.

This way i am not bound by limitation of time and space. I can be friends with the greatest mind that walk, and have walked, the earth. I can have them speak into my life and challenge my thinking all the while having them shape my life and help me become a better person, a more successful person.

Many people viewed books as boring and waste of time, yet if they view it as an opportunity to sit down with the author and learn from them, we open ourselves to whole new levels of learning growth.

The lesson here, is that our lives are sculptured and formed primarily by the people we associate with and the books that we read. When people grasp that concept,they are prepared to shape their lives into what they want them to become.

N.B: Keep posted for the continuation

Excerpt from Angel Inside

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

There are only four acts that takes you from the raw material to the finished piece. They are Chipping, Sculpting, Sanding, and Polishing.

Let’s start with Chipping.

1) CHIPPING

Every person has part of them that simply must go. If those part stay, you might never see Angel Inside. If we are going to create a life of power and beauty, we must allow ourselves to go through the processes that chip away at all of the peripheral parts of us that hide our true selves. Yet, most people do not embrace this.

When we lose part of ourselves, even bad parts that keep us from growing as humans, it hurts. It hurts because we have become comfortable with our negative aspects. We have learned to compensate from them. So, rather that allow them to be chipped away at, we run away from the process. And because of that, we are stuck where we are and our Angel never comes to the surface.

It is important, you have part(s) of you that must die and fall away if you are to become the person who you are destined to become. If you do not allow the chipping away of the exterior, you will forever hide the Angel Inside.

To be continue…

-Excerpt from Angel Inside

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.

Create a statue is much like creating a life in many ways. If you are going to become the person you want to become, then you will need to plan and prepare to become the person you want to become. Most people never plan for what kind of person they want to become

But planning helps you do it right the first time. One who works with Marbles doesn’t get many chance to cut. One mistake can ruin a whole piece. This is why it is imperative to spend time planning your work.

You see the Drawings? This is because in the drawings you can always erase and start over. Once you seperate a piece of Marble you can’t go back. You need to do right the first time.
Sometime in life you can go back, but it is better to get it right the first time because good planning and preparation. Always do the sketching and drawing first.

You can do the small sculpture. This is the “test run”. Some use wood. Some use clay,others may even use Marble, though that isn’t necessary. The idea is to make sure you have everything down before you cut.

Many people never draw out what they want they want their lives to look like. They do not creat the miniature sculpture to decide if the actual sculpture is what they will want to have a finished statue.

Young people and older people for that matter, do not do enough planning, preparation, and investigation about what they want their lives to become. They either just drift through life and allow circumstance to push them to and fro or they make rash, ill-conceived plans, then more too quickly, realizing too late that they have made a mistake with life. Planning, real planning eliminates most of that!

-Excerpt from Angel Inside

Akeem Gbadamosi, M.Sc Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.