5 Excuses that Keep You Unhealthy (and How to Destroy Them)- Matt Frazier

Each and every one of us, as a human being, is hardwired to choose the path of least resistance. We’re programmed to conserve energy for when we might need it and to avoid risk wherever possible, because that’s what it took for our ancestors to survive (and reproduce) in a world full of unknown dangers.

Today, it’s why the status quo — tested, predictable, familiar — is so comfortable. And it’s why we find change so difficult, even when our very lives depend on changing.

I’m referring, of course, to our health.

As Steven Pressfield and Seth Godin have so gracefully written, we procrastinate because somewhere deep down, we’re afraid to start. The resistance, or lizard brain, will fight tooth and nail to keep us right where we are. Because change is risky, and where we are is safe.

But when it comes to health, where we are isn’t safe. Known, sure. But not safe.

The excuses we use to justify one more pack of cigarettes, one more TV show, or another quick spin through the drive-through window (it’s convenient, and I had a rough day) are the tools of this fear. What we say to distract ourselves, to make it feel alright for now, is nothing more than a smokescreen.

It’s time to cut through the haze. What follows is a list of five of the most common, most debilitating excuses and fears that keep people unhealthy and powerless to change. Find the one that’s holding you back, and see it for the sham that it is.

1. “Before I can start, I’ve got to plan.”

Sure, planning is important. But right now, it’s just procrastination.

You know how it goes: “Before I start, I need to get workout clothes that fit. And shoes. And join a gym. And load some new songs on my iPod. Then I’ll get a meal plan and go shopping, and I’ll be ready to start!”

Maybe you do need all that stuff. But first, just start.

It’s easy: go outside and start walking or get on your bike. Go in one direction for just five minutes — fast when you want, slow when you want. Enjoy yourself — play — then turn around and come home. Do it again the next day, and the day after that, feeling free to gradually do more as your body allows you to.

Build some momentum by doing something small every day. Then, and only then, should you think about planning.

2. “I’m so out of shape, it’s overwhelming to think about getting healthy.”

Right now, don’t focus on getting in shape. The important thing is to take the first step.

Look at it as an experiment: commit to eating well or exercising for just one week, to see how it goes. Be curious and be playful, but really commit to it: set some ground rules, tell other people about it, and don’t cheat.

Forget any long-term health goals right now. Just take note of how you feel, paying particular attention to your mood and mindset — that’s where the changes will show up first.

When the time is up, congratulate yourself for sticking with it. If at this point you’re not excited to keep going, you can stop without feeling guilty and change your approach.

But maybe you feel lighter. More energetic. Happier. These incremental benefits are immediate, no matter how far away you are from whatever your ideal is.

So what would happen if you did this again for two weeks, or 30 days? Try it again, with the same strong commitment, and evaluate again when you reach the end.

The great thing about this approach is that it shifts the focus to the process, not the outcome, and at the same time prevents you from ever feeling like you’re locked into something that you don’t enjoy.

3. “I don’t know how to cook, nor do I have time for it.”

I believe you. You don’t have two hours each night to spend preparing a gourmet meal for your family, nor are you a master of matching flavors and textures to create beautiful, perfect dishes that are also healthy.

But I bet you can follow instructions. Find five minutes to search this site and others for simple recipes. Many won’t take you even half an hour to prepare.

Here are just a few examples of delicious, nutritious meals that don’t take much active time to make:

Smoothies

Beans and rice

A grain, a green, and a bean

Soup

Slow cooker stews

Look at cooking as an opportunity to work with your hands and to be present in the moment, focusing on that one thing only.

Enjoy the smells, the textures, the process. The occasional Sunday when I spend three hours in the kitchen making pasta or vegetable lasagna from scratch is the most meditative time of my entire week.

4. “People will laugh at me when I exercise because I’m out of shape.”

A few might laugh. They’ll do so because of some insecurity of their own. But most people are so distracted and focused on their own lives that they won’t even notice you.

Of those who do pay attention to you, the vast majority will be inspired, and they will envy your determination. No joke.

Five-million-plus people watch The Biggest Loser each week. Are they doing it for laughs? No, they watch because it motivates them, even if they never take action.

When people see you working hard to get in shape, it reminds them that somewhere, they’ve got that fight in them too. Without realizing it, even if you’re doing this only for yourself, you become a leader by example. People are drawn to that.

I know, it feels like everyone’s watching you, judging you. But trust me: inside, they’re cheering for you.

5. “I’d like to exercise with a group or class, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up.”

The quickest way to get better at something is to hang around people who are getting the results that you want. (You’ve heard it before, right? If you want to know your weight, add up your five closest friends’ weights, divide by five, and you probably won’t be far off.)

But with groups comes the fear of being “the weak one.” The one who can’t keep up, the one holding everyone else back. Most of us have been there at some time, and it’s no fun.

So how do you get past this fear?

Accept it and face it. Let the group know, beforehand, that you think you might have trouble keeping up. Tell them that if they need to go ahead, you won’t be offended, you’re just thrilled to work out with them and learn from them.

With that, it’s out in the open, no longer something to be ashamed of. Gone are the pain and potential injury of pushing yourself too hard in attempt to avoid embarrassment. And it probably won’t be long until you’re helping someone else who is new and afraid.

Go

The time to take that first step is today. If a flaw in your excuse has been exposed, take advantage of it now, before your fear can come up with a better one.

Getting yourself to start is the hardest part. As you begin to experience results and your new habits are reinforced, it becomes easy. You’ll discover that the more energy you use, the more you have, and being healthy is actually really fun.

Sure, it’s possible that you’ll stumble at first. Getting in shape isn’t as easy as watching TV, or eating whatever you want. But that’s okay.

The trick isn’t to never fall down, it’s to never stay down. When you mess up, use it as an opportunity to adapt and improve, not as a reason to quit.

And when the excuses crop up, step back, smile to yourself, and see them for what they are — a last-ditch effort by the old you, the comfortable, change-fearing you, to go back to the way things used to be.

Stop believing your excuses. Start.

Do you eat SHRIMPS?

Please read if you eat shrimps – Very Educative:
A woman suddenly died unexpectedly with signs of bleeding from her ears, nose, mouth & eyes.
After a preliminary autopsy it was diagnosed that death was due to arsenic poisoning.
Where did the arsenic come from?

The police launched an in-depth and extensive investigation. A medical school professor was invited to come to solve the case.
The professor carefully looked at the contents. In less than half an hour, the mystery was solved.
The professor said: ‘The deceased did not commit suicide and neither was she murdered, she died of accidental death due to ignorance!’
Everyone was puzzled, why accidental death?
The professor said: ‘The arsenic was produced in the stomach of the deceased.’ The deceased used to take ‘Vitamin C’ everyday, which in itself is not a problem.
The problem was that she ate a large portion of shrimp/prawn during dinner. Eating shrimp/prawn is not the problem that’s why nothing happened to her family even though they had the same shrimp/prawn. However at the same time the deceased also took ‘vitamin C’, that is where the problem was!

Researchers at the University of Chicago in the United States , found through experiments, food such as soft-shell contain much higher concentration of five
potassium arsenic compounds.

Such fresh food by itself has no toxic effects on the human body.

However, in taking ‘vitamin C’, chemical reaction occurs and the original non-toxic elements change to toxic elements.

Arsenic poisoning has magma role and can cause paralysis to the small blood vessels. Therefore, a person who dies of arsenic poisoning will show signs of bleeding from the ears, nose, mouth & eyes. Thus as a precautionary measure,

DO NOT eat shrimp/prawn when taking ‘vitamin C’.

After reading this; please do not be stingy. Re-share to your friends.

The Little Book of Procrastination Remedies-Leo Babauta

Procrastination is one of those topics that, it seems, I can’t write enough about. There isn’t a person among us who doesn’t procrastinate, and that’s a fact of life.

It’s deep within us. We think we’re going to do something later, or read that classic novel later, or learn French later. But we always overestimate how much we can do later, and we overestimate the ability of our later selves to beat procrastination.

If our current self can’t beat procrastination, why will our future self do it?

I thought I should cover some of the best procrastination-beating strategies, in light of my recent book, focus. People seem to want ways to beat procrastination, so they can actually get down to focusing.

Here’s a quick guide.

Why We Procrastinate

Let’s take a quick look at what makes us procrastinate. There are several reasons, which are related in various ways:

1. We want instant gratification. Resting on the couch is thought of as nicer, right now, than going on a run. Reading blogs is easier, right now, than reading a classic novel. Checking email or Facebook is easier, now, than doing that project you’ve been putting off. Eating chocolate cake is tastier, right now, than eating veggies.

2. We fear/dread something. We might not write that chapter in our book because there are problems with the writing that we haven’t figured out (often because we haven’t thought it through). Or we might be afraid we’re going to fail, or look ignorant or stupid. We’re most often afraid of the unknown, which has more power because we don’t examine this fear — it just lurks in the back of our minds. Dreading or fearing something makes us want to put it off, to postpone even thinking about it, and to do something easy and safe instead.

3. It’s easy – no negative consequences right now. When we were in school and had a teacher looking over our shoulders and scolding us if we didn’t do our work, we tended to do the work (until some of us learned that we could tune out the scolding, that is). But when we got home, sometimes no one would be looking over our shoulders … so there wasn’t any immediate negative consequence to watching TV or playing games instead. Sure, we’d get a bad grade tomorrow, but that’s not right now. The same is true of using the Internet or doing other kinds of procrastination tasks — we’ll pay for it later, but right now, no one is getting mad at us.

4. We overestimate our future self. We often have a long list of things we plan to do, because we think we can do a lot in the future. The reality is usually a little worse than we expected, but that doesn’t stop us from thinking the future will be different yet again. For the same reason, we think it’s OK to procrastinate, because we’re going to do it later, for sure. Our future self will be incredibly productive and focused! Except, our future self is also lazy, and doesn’t do it either. Damn future self.

Four Powerful Solutions

Now that we know the problems, the solutions aren’t that hard to figure out. Just don’t put them off, OK?

1. Stop and think. When we allow the above thoughts to go on without really being conscious of them, we procrastinate. When we actually pause and think about those thoughts, we can rationally see that they’re wrong. Instant gratification in the form of goofing off or eating junk food can lead to problems later. Fears are overblown and shouldn’t stand in our way. Not having negative consequences now doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences later. Our future self isn’t as bad-ass as we like to think. So think about what you’re doing, and start to do the more rational thing. Use the strategies below as well, but thinking is the start.

2. Enjoy the process. When we dread something, we put it off — but instead, if we can learn to enjoy it, it won’t be as hard or dreadful. Put yourself in the moment, and enjoy every action. For example, if you want to go out to run, don’t think about the hard run ahead, but about putting on your shoes — enjoy the simplicity of that action. Then focus on getting out the door — that’s not hard. Then focus on warming up with a fast walk or light jog — that can be nice and enjoyable. Then feel your legs warm up as you start running a little faster, and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. This process can be done with anything, from washing dishes to reading to writing. Enjoy yourself in the moment, without thinking of future things you dread, and the activity can be very pleasant and even fun. And if it is, you won’t put it off.

3. Set up accountability. If no one is looking over our shoulder, we tend to let ourselves slack off. So set up a procrastination-proof environment — find people to hold you accountable. I joined an online fitness challenge this month, for example, so that I’d report my workouts to the forum. I’ve done the same thing for running, quitting smoking, writing a novel. You can even just use your friends and family on Facebook or email.

4. Block your future self. Your future self is just as likely to put things off. So block that sucker. Use a program like Freedom to block your Internet access for a predetermined amount of time, so your future self has to actually focus instead of reading blogs. Turn off your cable TV, get rid of the junk food in your house, cut up your credit cards … do whatever it takes to make it really hard for your future self to procrastinate or give in to temptation, or at least force your future self to pause and think before he does anything dumb.

A Different Mindset

Three other things that must be said about procrastination:

1. Do what excites you. If you do what you’re excited about most of the time, you’ll be less likely to put it off. Focus on why it excites you, rather than the dreaded aspects of the activity. I do this and my procrastination is lower than ever.

2. Productively procrastinate. If you’re going to procrastinate, do other productive things instead. So if you don’t want to do your project, at least get some smaller tasks done. Read more.

3. Sometimes, procrastination is OK. I’m not anti-procrastination, at all. This guide is for those who want to beat it, but in my book, lazing around can be a beautiful thing. Reading stuff on the Internet that I’m interested in isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes, give in to procrastination. But other times, you might want to get off that lazy butt and actually accomplish something.

Learning to Sit Alone, in a Quiet Empty Room-Leo Babauta.

‘All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.’ ~Blaise Pascal

Think about some of the problems of our daily lives, and how many of them would be eased if we could learn to sit alone, in a quiet empty room, with contentment.

If you’re content to sit alone quietly, you don’t need to eat junk food, to shop on impulse, to buy the latest gadget, to be on social media to see what everyone else is talking about or doing, to compare yourself to others, to make more money to keep up with the Joneses, to achieve glory or power, to conquer other lands or wage war, to be rude or violent to others, to be selfish or greedy, to be constantly busy or productive.

You are content, and need nothing else. It solves a lot of problems.

Can you sit alone in an empty room? Can you enjoy the joy of quiet?

Most of us have trouble sitting alone, quietly, doing nothing. We have the need to do something, to check our inboxes and social media, to be productive. Sitting still can be difficult if you haven’t cultivated the habit.

I’ve been learning. In the morning, as my coffee is brewing, I sit. Even for a few minutes, at first, it is instructive. You learn to listen to your thoughts, to be aware of your urges to do something else, to plan and set goals. You learn to watch yourself, but to just sit still and not act on those urges. You learn to be content with stillness.

You learn to savor the quiet. It’s something most of us don’t have, quiet, and it takes some getting used to. When we’re driving our cars or out exercising or eating or working, we have music playing or we talk with people or we have the television on. Quiet can be amazing, though, because it helps us calm down, contemplate, slow down to savor the emptiness.

An empty room, too, is a luxury. I try to empty my room of clutter, so that it’s fairly bare. That leaves only me, and the room is a blank slate ready to be filled with me, my creativity, my silence. I love a spartan room.

Being alone is another pleasure we too often neglect. When we are alone, we go on the Internet or TV to see what else is going on, what others are doing or saying, instead of just being alone. This isolation is a necessary thing, that allows us to find ourselves, to learn to be content with little instead of always wanting more.

Can you practice being alone, being still, being quiet? Just a little at first, then perhaps a bit more. Listen, watch, learn about yourself. Find contentment. Need nothing more.

Lessons from Geese- Milton Olson

FACT 1:

As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for
the birds that follow. By flying in a “V” formation, the
whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each
bird flew alone.

Lesson:

People who share a common direction and sense of community
can get where they are going quicker and easier because
they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

FACT 2:

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the
drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back
into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of
the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson:

If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation
with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to
accept their help and give our help to others.

FACT 3:

When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into formation
and another goose flies to the point position.

Lesson:

It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing
leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on
each other’s skills, capabilities and unique arrangements
of gifts, talents or resources.

FACT 4:

The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up
front to keep up their speed.

Lesson:

We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups
where there is encouragement, the production is much
greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s
heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of
others) is the quality of honking we seek.

FACT 5:

When a goose gets sick, wounded or shot down, two geese
drop out of formation and follow it to help and protect
it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly
again. Then, they launch out with another formation or
catch up with the flock.

Lesson:

If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each
other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

Culled from: Small Business CEO News
This WEEK – December 28,2011

7 Benefits of Marriage- Akeem Gbadamosi

Am trying to review the book titled: The Couple Checkup by David H Olson, Amy Olson-Sigg, and Peter J. Larson.

So, in order not to be selfish. I will be giving a daily dose as I read. Okay be you?

The following are the benefits of Marriage itemised:

1) Married people have a healthier lifestyle.

2) Married people live longer.

3) Married people have more satisfying sexual relationship.

4) Married people are happier.

5) Married people have more wealth and economic assets.

6) Children generally do better in a two-parent home.

7) Society benefits when children are raised within a family.

And many more benefits.

Leave your comment(s)

Does your relationships needs The Couple checkup?- Akeem Gbadamosi

The Couple Checkup is the name of book am currently reading.

The Couple Checkup Is designed to be relevant for couples who are dating or engaged, for couples who live together but are not yet married, and for married couples.

Keep posted.

What is your phobias? – Akeem Gbadamosi

Almost every individual experiences one phobia or the other in their day-to-day activities.

A phobia (from the Greek: φόβος, Phóbos, meaning “fear” or “morbid fear”) is a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational. In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities.

Phobias vary in severity among individuals. Some individuals can simply avoid the subject of their fear and suffer relatively mild anxiety over that fear. Others suffer full-fledged panic attacks with all the associated disabling symptoms. Most individuals understand that they are suffering from an irrational fear, but they are powerless to override their initial panic reaction.

A

Achluophobia – Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia – Fear of heights.
Aerophobia – Fear of flying.
Agliophobia – Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia – Fear of open spaces or crowds.
Aichmophobia – Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Amaxophobia – Fear of riding in a car.
Androphobia – Fear of men.
Anginophobia – Fear of angina or choking.
Anthrophobia – Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia – Fear of people or society.
Aphenphosmphobia – Fear of being touched.
Arachnophobia – Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia – Fear of numbers.
Astraphobia – Fear of thunder and lightening.
Ataxophobia – Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia – Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia – Fear of failure.
Autophobia – Fear of being alone.

B

Bacteriophobia – Fear of bacteria.
Barophobia – Fear of gravity.
Bathmophobia – Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batrachophobia – Fear of amphibians.
Belonephobia – Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia – Fear of books.
Botanophobia – Fear of plants.

C

Cacophobia – Fear of ugliness.
Catagelophobia – Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia – Fear of mirrors.
Chionophobia – Fear of snow.
Chromophobia – Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia – Fear of clocks.
Claustrophobia – Fear of confined spaces.
Coulrophobia – Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia – Fear of computers.
Cynophobia – Fear of dogs.

D

Dendrophobia – Fear of trees.
Dentophobia – Fear of dentists.
Domatophobia – Fear of houses.
Dystychiphobia – Fear of accidents.

E

Ecophobia – Fear of the home.
Elurophobia – Fear of cats.
Entomophobia – Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia – Fear of teenagers.
Equinophobia – Fear of horses.

G

Gamophobia – Fear of marriage.
Genuphobia – Fear of knees.
Glossophobia – Fear of speaking in public.
Gynophobia – Fear of women.

H

Heliophobia – Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia – Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia – Fear of reptiles.
Hydrophobia – Fear of water.
Hypochonria – Fear of illness.

I

Iatrophobia – Fear of doctors.
Insectophobia – Fear of insects.

K

Koinoniphobia – Fear of rooms.

L

Leukophobia – Fear of the color white.
Lilapsophobia – Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Lockiophobia – Fear of childbirth.

M

Mageirocophobia – Fear of cooking.
Megalophobia – Fear of large things.
Melanophobia – Fear of the color black.
Microphobia – Fear of small things.
Mysophobia – Fear of dirt and germs.

N

Necrophobia – Fear of death or dead things.
Noctiphobia – Fear of the night.
Nosocomephobia – Fear of hospitals.
Nyctophobia – Fear of the dark.

O

Obesophobia – Fear of gaining weight.
Octophobia – Fear of the figure 8.
Ombrophobia – Fear of rain.
Ophidiophobia – Fear of snakes.
Ornithophobia – Fear of birds.

P

Papyrophobia – Fear of paper.
Pathophobia – Fear of disease.
Pedophobia – Fear of children.
Philophobia – Fear of love.
Phobophobia – Fear of phobias.
Podophobia – Fear of feet.
Porphyrophobia – Fear of the color purple.
Pteridophobia – Fear of ferns.
Pteromerhanophobia – Fear of flying.
Pyrophobia – Fear of fire.

S

Scolionophobia – Fear of school.
Selenophobia – Fear of the moon.
Sociophobia – Fear of social evaluation.
Somniphobia – Fear of sleep.

T

Tachophobia – Fear of speed.
Technophobia – Fear of technology.
Tonitrophobia – Fear of thunder.
Trypanophobia – Fear of needles / injections.

V-Z

Venustraphobia – Fear of beautiful women.
Verminophobia – Fear of germs.
Wiccaphobia – Fear of witches and witchcraft.
Xenophobia – Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Zoophobia – Fear of animals.

And many other more……….

5 Principle Of Bargaining

1) “Know your negotiating partner” Talk technical or chew the fat, as necessary.

2) “Know the product or service you are trying to buy”.

3) “Humor helps. “The future of humankind is probably not at stake.

4) Be nice. It pays in the end.

5) “Know when to stop. Enough is enough. Sometimes more gets you less”.

SOURCE: Allan Stark of Negotiate4U, Quoted by Micheal S. Rosenwald in the Washington Post.

Culled from Readers Digest, May 2010.

Akeem Gbadamosi’s Blog

The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge Post written by Leo Babauta.

Are you ready to participate in the mad shopping frenzy that we partake in every year, not only on Black Friday but all holiday season long?

Are you ready for an incredible burst of spending, for racking up credit card debt, for the stress of buying things for everyone on your list?

Are you ready to consume an insane amount of resources, to have a huge impact on the environment, to work long hours to pay for all that?

Yep, it’s the holiday season again, and with it comes the worst season for consumerism ever.

I say, let’s opt out.

My family and I are issuing a challenge to all my wonderful readers, to the world: The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge.

What is this crazy challenge? It’s simple — follow all these rules:

Buy no new gifts during the holidays.

Wait, whaaat? Don’t fret, there are alternatives:

Make gifts, like crafts or construction type gifts.

Bake or cook consumable gifts like cookies.

Give the gift of your service — wash cars, give a massage, babysit, clean a house, mow lawns, etc.

Buy used gifts at thrift stores.

Donate to charity, as a group.

Volunteer at a charity together.

Have a shared experience together.

Create something, together, instead of consuming.

Give to others things you don’t need (a good sewing machine, etc.).

Find gratitude for what we already have.

Are you in? Take the challenge! It’ll be fun, you’ll save a ton of money, and your family will get creative. Read on.

The Tradition of Traditions

Many people will scoff, and say they love giving gifts. It’s a tradition, after all!

Well, sure. But new traditions can be made if the old ones aren’t working out. And I’d argue the tradition of buying gifts is broken. Read: The Case Against Buying Gifts.

Do we really want to teach our children that giving is really all about buying? Do we want to teach them that to show love, you must buy something? Do we want to set an example of consumerism instead of creativity? Are we saying that the only way a family or friends can get together is if we spend a crapload of needless money?

No. Let’s be more creative. Let’s create new traditions.

What kind of traditions? What if families got together and played games? Built things? Went outdoors to hike, play games, swim, play in the snow, camp out? What if families taught each other how to make things?

What if families got together to help others? Volunteer at a soup kitchen, help others build houses, clean up a neighborhood? Show that giving can be amazing, but it doesn’t have to involve consumerism.

Get creative. Get healthy. Get constructive. Get compassionate.

But teh sales! All the money I’ll save!

I think you know this already, but it’s worth reminding ourselves that when you shop during a sale, you aren’t saving money. You are spending it.

The best way to save money is by not buying at all.

Sure, there are some necessities that we need, but holiday sales are not about necessities. They’re about convincing you that all these TVs, iPads, Kindle Fires, iPods, video game systems, clothes, power tools and more are necessities. You can’t escape buying all this stuff, because it’s Christmas dammit! So come down and save some money, and sign up for store credit while you’re at it.

When retailers offer you a major sale, this is a good time to run in the other direction. They’re trying to trick you into buying something you don’t need. When you see an advertisement for something, anything, it’s a good time to shut off whatever you’re watching, or go to another website. You don’t need it. Opt out of Black Friday, at the very least. (We’ll talk about next year later.)

But … my family won’t!

First, your whole family doesn’t have to do this. Just you. You’ll be an oddball, and some people won’t understand, but you’ll be leading by example. Send them a link to this post, and tell them Leo made you do it. Just because everyone else is doing massive consumerism, doesn’t mean you have to.

Second, don’t be fatalist. Your family might be willing to change, if you at least start the discussion. Again, send a link to this post. Ask them what they think. Challenge them to get creative.

This could save your family thousands of dollars, and be incredibly gratifying in the process. Instead of spending hours of shopping apart from each other, you could be spending hours together, doing things. Celebrate the holidays simply.

Talk about the benefits of changing, and the problems with the way things have been done.

These holidays weren’t always about massive shopping. What did people do before department stores and malls and online retailers? How did they ever survive? Let’s try to remember.

Dealing with Difficult People

Some friends or family members absolutely won’t join you. That’s OK. You don’t need to force this on anyone.

Remember that everyone will change at their own pace, and not everyone will embrace changes like this. They’ll feel threatened, or criticized. You need to try not to come off as critical of others, but more positive.

Tell them that they are not required to join you, but that you want to do this for your own sanity. You are trying to save money, but mostly you want to move away from consumerism. Ask only that they respect this.

Others might insist on getting you presents. Politely ask that they don’t, but if they do, don’t be ungrateful. It can be awkward — for years I’ve asked family not to buy me presents, only to have some of them buy me stuff anyway. I don’t buy them anything, so it’s weird. But these days I just smile, and say thank you, and appreciate the effort. It’s a long education process, trust me.

In the meantime, you can still suggest starting other traditions, like playing games or going outside or volunteering.

Be patient. Others don’t like to be forced into change, so just be the change you want to see in the world.

Akeem Gbadamosi’s Blog